Monday, November 14, 2011

Return to the Land of Normal

Always assuming that's a place I ever knew how to find.

We did nothing today. OK, that's not true. I paid some bills online and stuff but I didn't leave the house. The most taxing thing I did was take a shower. And you know what? It was great!

Mrs. IdB had off too so we just chilled and chattered about movies and tried to figure out who the hell thought it was a good idea to re-make Straw Dogs.

It was fun. It was non-stressful. It was so very different than what life was like living with an abusive narcissist that we both kind of freaked out a little bit. Which is crazy, I know, but that's the mindset of someone who is recovering from an abusive relationship. We freak out when we pay bills not because we are poor but because we are so used to getting berated about the state of our funds, despite the fact that when we were with him we were making triple what we make now. We freak out when we sit down for dinner because that was always the prelude to an argument. We freak out when we want to buy or save for something because we were never able to buy things for ourselves.

Not freaking out? Yeah that makes us freak out.

But you know what's nice? Being able to just be normal and love the person I'm with and not have it be excruciating. It's novel but it's really lovely.

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